What Hath Bell Wrought?

Had Alexander Graham Bell’s first phone been a smartphone, Watson would have been too busy playing Candy Crush to answer the call.

How Long Will It Take Dorothy to Complete 22 Math Problems?

Story problems take something I’m fond of — stories — and turn them into something I’m not fond of at all: math problems.

Dorothy RosbyAugust 31, 2021school, math, homework, parentingComment

Traveling in Air-Conditioned Discomfort

Better for the cool-as-cucumbers crowd to put on more clothes than to have hot-blooded folks going around wearing fewer of them.

Marriage, TravelDorothy RosbyAugust 19, 2021marriage, air conditioning, travel Comments

His and Hers Sleep Checklists

Everyone else in my house is sleeping. Meanwhile, I’m awake writing about sleep, which isn’t nearly as restful.

HealthDorothy RosbyAugust 3, 2021sleep, insomnia, health, marria, South Dakota humorist Comments

Straight Talk About Geezeritus

I’m not getting older, I’m getting bitter.

Dorothy RosbyJuly 21, 2021aging, health, midwestern humorist Comments

Why Pantyhose Sales Sagged

There are actually YouTube videos demonstrating how to put on nylons. That’s too fussy for me. No one needs a YouTube video to help them put on their pants.

FashionDorothy RosbyJuly 8, 2021fashion, stockings, South Dakota humorist Comment

How to Plan a Family Reunion—or Get Out of Planning One

When I was a child, I daydreamed of living alone in a chicken coop in our backyard. Not the one with the chickens in it. No, my chicken coop would be decked out—and clean.

FamilyDorothy RosbyJune 24, 2021family reunion, midwestern humorist, family Comments

As You Embark on Your Life of Crime

I think I could be a pretty good criminal because I watch a lot of mystery shows on television.

From Red Handed to Green Thumbed

When I was growing up, my parents told me to eat my vegetables, and I did—right out of my neighbor’s garden.

Run Sandwich Run!

There’s one thing about the Kentucky Derby that fascinates me: the names of the racehorses. I call my cat Kitty, so you can see why I might be intrigued.

Falling Asleep is as Easy as Pie, Penguin, Paraguay

I close my eyes and imagine a sheep jumping over the fence. Then I picture another one and another one until around sheep number 106, I start getting bored and my sheep become increasingly uncooperative.

HealthDorothy RosbyApril 8, 2021insomnia, sleep, health humor, midwestern humorist Comments

Stay Car Keys, Stay

Do you ever wonder what you could have accomplished with your life if you hadn’t spent so much of it looking for your car keys? And your reading glasses. And your cellphone, checkbook and TV remote.

Dorothy RosbyMarch 25, 2021misplaced, Humorist, Midwestern, humor, aging Comments