And the Award for Having the Good Sense to Wear Comfortable Shoes goes to…
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I think I could be a pretty good criminal because I watch a lot of mystery shows on television.
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There’s one thing about the Kentucky Derby that fascinates me: the names of the racehorses. I call my cat Kitty, so you can see why I might be intrigued.
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If you’re a detective interrogating a suspect in what looks like an open-and-shut case, but there are still twenty
minutes left in the episode, you have the wrong guy.
I didn’t report the car because I thought someone was getting away with a parking violation; I reported it because I thought someone was getting away with murder.
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I admire those guys on that TV commercial who dance around in outfits as pink as plastic flamingos and sing about digestive disorders. That really takes…uh…guts.
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A handsome fella leaps off a speeding train onto the back of a galloping horse at the very moment the train explodes. But that’s not the amazing part. He’s got one leg in a cast, he’s carrying the wounded train engineer and he’s being pursued by masked gunmen. That’s not the amazing part either. What’s truly incredible is that he won’t even win an Academy Award for Best Stunt, and not just because I made the whole thing up.
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