I thought it would be fun. I thought it would be easy. I thought I could get away with it.
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Socks peek out beneath pant legs like diamond earrings peeking out from under a fancy hairdo.
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Stay cellphone stay!
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The average American will spend 153 days of their life searching for misplaced belongings—keys, shoes, cellphone. There are days I can’t find my sofa.
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A friend says cheerfully, “What are you doing?” I say, “I have no idea.”
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More than seventeen million Americans suffer from friggatriskaidekaphobia though they seldom admit it, mainly because they can’t pronounce it.
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I’ve heard so much about oligarchs lately that I couldn’t help wondering if it might be a good career move for me.
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Had Alexander Graham Bell’s first phone been a smartphone, Watson would have been too busy playing Candy Crush to answer the call.
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There’s one thing about the Kentucky Derby that fascinates me: the names of the racehorses. I call my cat Kitty, so you can see why I might be intrigued.
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Do you ever wonder what you could have accomplished with your life if you hadn’t spent so much of it looking for your car keys? And your reading glasses. And your cellphone, checkbook and TV remote.
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How to gift wrap a million dollar smartphone.
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I have to eat every four or five hours if the people I love are going to continue loving me back.
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Why do you think God made wind? To blow your leaves into your neighbor’s yard, that’s why.
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One study found that chocolate is associated with reduced risk of cardiovascular disease and stroke. Healthy heart, big butt. I think it’s worth it.
More than 17 million Americans suffer from friggatriskaidekaphobia though they seldom admit it, mainly because they can’t pronounce it.
Here’s a nice way to help your Valentine hear your side of things without having to listen to theirs.
Alcohol allows revelers to forget the worst of the past year and start the new one off just as badly.
I realize I’m late getting my Christmas letter out, but there’s a good reason for that: I’m late writing it
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Don’t slam doors; you never know who might be napping. Don’t ask a woman when her baby is due unless you’re ure she’s pregnant. And be kind to everyone you meet; you never know who might win the lottery next.
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