How to Plan a Family Reunion—or Get Out of Planning One

When I was a child, I daydreamed of living alone in a chicken coop in our backyard. Not the one with the chickens in it. No, my chicken coop would be decked out—and clean.

FamilyDorothy RosbyJune 24, 2021family reunion, midwestern humorist, family Comments

As You Embark on Your Life of Crime

I think I could be a pretty good criminal because I watch a lot of mystery shows on television.

From Red Handed to Green Thumbed

When I was growing up, my parents told me to eat my vegetables, and I did—right out of my neighbor’s garden.

Run Sandwich Run!

There’s one thing about the Kentucky Derby that fascinates me: the names of the racehorses. I call my cat Kitty, so you can see why I might be intrigued.

Falling Asleep is as Easy as Pie, Penguin, Paraguay

I close my eyes and imagine a sheep jumping over the fence. Then I picture another one and another one until around sheep number 106, I start getting bored and my sheep become increasingly uncooperative.

HealthDorothy RosbyApril 8, 2021insomnia, sleep, health humor, midwestern humorist Comments

Stay Car Keys, Stay

Do you ever wonder what you could have accomplished with your life if you hadn’t spent so much of it looking for your car keys? And your reading glasses. And your cellphone, checkbook and TV remote.

Dorothy RosbyMarch 25, 2021misplaced, Humorist, Midwestern, humor, aging Comments

The Times, They Are A-Changin'

“Spring ahead” makes it sound a lot more fun than it is.

Seeking Self-Knowledge on Facebook

If you answered this question “frequently,” you have too much time on your hands and should come clean my house.

TechnologyDorothy RosbyFebruary 17, 2021Facebook, self-knowledge, quizzes Comments

The Super What?

I grew up thinking that men invented football just to get out of doing dishes.

Dorothy RosbyFebruary 4, 2021Super Bowl, football, Humor, Dorothy Rosby, midwestern humorist Comments

Come Say that to My Face…Mask

I’m one of those brave souls who regularly tells other people off—when I’m alone in the car on my way home.

Dorothy RosbyJanuary 19, 2021COVID-19, Coronavirus, masks, Humor, health and fitness, South Dakota Comments

I Learn the Hard Way so You Don’t Have To

I hope sharing some of the lessons I learned in 2020 will save you from making the same mistakes I made, though I can’t see most people doing that.

That's a Wrap

How to gift wrap a million dollar smartphone.

HolidaysDorothy RosbyDecember 23, 2020Christmas humor, gift wrapping, Christmas gifts, humor, South Dakota Comments

Good Riddance 2020

The best thing I can say about this year is that there was plenty of time to clean all my closets. I didn’t, but I had time to.

Americans Can't Even Agree on When to Serve the Turkey

I have to eat every four or five hours if the people I love are going to continue loving me back.

All the Cars I’ve Loved

Cars are people too!

TravelDorothy RosbyNovember 10, 2020Subaru Crosstrek, Subaru, new car Comments

It's Scary Out There

People who go through haunted houses without jumping obviously have sluggish reflexes and probably shouldn’t operate motorized vehicles.

HolidaysDorothy RosbyOctober 27, 2020Halloween, haunted house, scary, Dorothy Rosby, midwestern humorist Comments

Still Not a Smoker

I racked up 2000 Fitbit steps looking for my phone today. I didn’t find it which means another easy 2000 tomorrow.

Dorothy RosbyOctober 13, 2020midwestern humorist, fitness, Fitbit, South Dakota, health and fitness Comments

Mutterings from the Arboretum

Why do you think God made wind? To blow your leaves into your neighbor’s yard, that’s why.

MarriageDorothy RosbySeptember 29, 2020raking, autumn, good neighbors, Dorothy Rosby, humor, Midwestern Comments

How to Take Your Porcupine to the Vet

Going to the veterinarian is traumatic for our cat which means it’s also traumatic me. Honestly, I’d rather take a bobcat in for shots. Or a Brahma bull.

PetsDorothy RosbySeptember 15, 2020Veterinarian, pet care, cats, porcupines Comments