Halloween isn’t my favorite holiday, partly because it doesn’t involve a day off.
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The last thing I sewed with an actual sewing machine was my thumb, and that has a way of inspiring you to look for other hobbies.
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I buy enough Halloween candy that I could give a heaping handful to every trick-or-treater who comes to my door. I don’t, but I could.
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People who go through haunted houses without jumping obviously have sluggish reflexes and probably shouldn’t operate motorized vehicles.
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One thing I’ve learned watching whodunits is that if you hear strange noises in another part of your house, you should never go investigate, especially if you’re home alone, it’s a stormy night, the power is out and there’s scary movie music playing. Actors do that all the time, and it never ends well for them.
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