Dorothy Rosby
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Dorothy Rosby
 

Musing, Mumbling
and Occasional Ranting by Dorothy Rosby

Copyright Dorothy Rosby. All Rights Reserved.

 
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A Smarter, Fitter, Slimmer, More Organize You in 2018
A Smarter, Fitter, Slimmer, More Organize You in 2018

Putting your resolutions on paper will make them seem more doable and make you feel more committed.Also, if you fail, you’ll have your list ready when it comes time to make resolutions next year.

 

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HolidaysDorothy RosbyJanuary 1, 2018New Year's, resolutions, Dorothy Rosby, humorist, South Dakota Comment
Merry Christmas!
Merry Christmas!

All I want for Christmas is for Equifax management and the hackers who stole our data from them to go to jail and share a cell.

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Dorothy RosbyDecember 18, 2017Christmas, Christmas letter, Dorothy Rosby, South Dakota, humor Comments
The Case for Singing Telegrams
The Case for Singing Telegrams

One Friday morning when I was in college, a certain nice young man asked me on a date for that evening. I agreed without hesitation. There was just one problem. Another not-as-nice young man had already asked me out—sort of.

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TechnologyDorothy RosbyDecember 5, 2017email, technology, spam, romance, Dorothy Rosby, Humorist, South Dakota, singing telegram, cell phone Comment
Here's who I'm mad at today. . .
Here's who I'm mad at today. . .

If my printer was a car, I’d have to leave it parked in the garage because I couldn’t afford the gas.

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Dorothy RosbyNovember 7, 2017 Comments
Things that go woosh in the night
Things that go woosh in the night

One thing I’ve learned watching whodunits is that if you hear strange noises in another part of your house, you should never go investigate, especially if you’re home alone, it’s a stormy night, the power is out and there’s scary movie music playing. Actors do that all the time, and it never ends well for them.

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HolidaysDorothy RosbyOctober 30, 2017Halloween, Dorothy Rosby, humorist, humor, storytelling, South Dakota, Rapid City Comments
Distressing Fashion News
Distressing Fashion News

A pair of jeans you’ve worn so long that the hems are frayed and the knees are threadbare is called “worn out.” A brand-new pair of jeans with frayed hems and threadbare knees is called“distressed,” probably because distressed is how you feel spending good money on a pair of jeans you wouldn’t, in good conscience, donate to a charity thrift shop.

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Dorothy RosbyOctober 11, 2017fashion, jeans, denim, Dorothy Rosby, humor, South Dakota Comments
Fish Sticks and Day Old Bread
Fish Sticks and Day Old Bread

With good intentions and a little divine intervention, maybe they can be stretched to feed 5000, metaphorically speaking. Maybe our impact can spread like dandelion seeds in the spring or flu germs in an elementary school.

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Self-ImprovementDorothy RosbySeptember 26, 2017Fish sticks, Bible, humorist, humor, Dorothy Rosby, South Dakota, Midwestern, talents, gifts Comments
Saved by the Bell
Saved by the Bell

Either I'm invisible or that clerk is holding out for the shift change so that someone else will have to wait on me.  

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TechnologyDorothy RosbySeptember 12, 2017Dorothy Rosby, South Dakota, Rapid City, humor, humorist, deception, cell phone, etiquette Comments
Jobs I Could Never Do
Jobs I Could Never Do

I’m kind of a “that’s close enough,” kind of person, and that doesn’t work if you’re building bridges, doing brain surgeries or rigging parachutes.

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HolidaysDorothy RosbyAugust 29, 2017Labor Day, Dorothy Rosby, Rapid City, South Dakota, humorist, humor, labor, work, careers Comments
A Really, Really Awesome List
A Really, Really Awesome List

Over the years, I’ve had a lot of things shift, but I’m not sure my paradigm is one of them. 

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Dorothy RosbyAugust 15, 2017cliche, GrammarBook.com, Awesome, amazing, humor, humorist, South Dakota, Rapid City Comments
The Dangers of Cyberloafing
The Dangers of Cyberloafing

I’ve never heeded that old advice given to writers: “Write what you know.” If I would have, I’d have run out of column material a long time ago. Why stick to what I know? I've got Google.  

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TechnologyDorothy RosbyAugust 1, 2017Google, Dorothy Rosby, humor, South Dakota, Rapid City, cyberloafing, cyberslacking Comments
I’m Not Old Until I Say I’m Old
I’m Not Old Until I Say I’m Old

Older people are wise and mature. I’m neither wise nor mature, so it stands to reason that I can’t be old either.

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Dorothy RosbyJuly 18, 2017Dorothy Rosby, humor, humorist, South Dakota, aging, elderly, middle age, midlife crises Comments
Whole Lot of Money but Not Much Sense
Whole Lot of Money but Not Much Sense

Did you hear about that fan who spent more than $190,000 on a pair of old shoes worn by Michael Jordan in the 1984 Summer Olympics? I think it was a cry for help. “Someone help me! I have too much money and I don’t know what to do with it.”

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Self-ImprovementDorothy RosbyJuly 5, 2017money, cash, extravagance, rich, humor, Dorothy Rosby Comment
People Watching in Terminal B
People Watching in Terminal B

From my spot at Boston Logan, I count at least a dozen people dozing, despite the hubbub all around. There are three young people lying flat on the floor, unconscious. I can’t sleep that well on a bed in a dark, quiet room. I’m tempted to wake them up and ask them how they do it.

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TravelDorothy RosbyJune 20, 2017travel, airport, Dorothy Rosby, humor Comments
Attack of the phony phoners
Attack of the phony phoners

I screamed into the phone, “Stop calling me!” It was a recording.

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TechnologyDorothy RosbyMay 30, 2017scams, phone, smartphone, callers Comments
Personal Assistant or Peeping Tom
Personal Assistant or Peeping Tom

I knew it. I'm being watched.

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TechnologyDorothy RosbyMay 16, 2017technology, privacy, Dorothy Rosby Comments
Shut up and eat your dandelions!
Shut up and eat your dandelions!

When I complained to my friend about the yellow scourge taking over my yard, she told me to be quiet and eat my dandelions. She said dandelions are nutritious, delicious and free. I told her she could have as many as she wanted if she’d just come by and pick them.

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Dorothy RosbyMay 10, 2017dandelions, weeds, flowers, danedlion, Dorothy Rosby Comments
I know an old woman who lived in a zoo
I know an old woman who lived in a zoo

You know that old woman who swallowed a spider to catch the fly, and then a bird to catch the spider, and a cat to catch the bird, and a dog to catch the cat, then a goat, a cow and eventually a horse. And she died of course. Who wouldn’t? Frankly, I’m surprised she lasted as long as she did.

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PetsDorothy RosbyMay 2, 2017pets, chaos, cat, dog, bird Comments
Brace Yourself!
Brace Yourself!

And at my advanced age, the best thing I can say about wearing braces is, it beats wearing dentures.

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Dorothy RosbyApril 11, 2017braces, teeth, smile, middle age Comments
In Like a Lion and Out Like a Practical Joke
In Like a Lion and Out Like a Practical Joke

Whose idea was it to dedicate an entire day to practical jokes anyway? There are no other holidays designated specifically for bad behavior—except maybe New Year’s Eve

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HolidaysDorothy RosbyMarch 28, 2017April Fools, April 1, prank, weather Comments
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Dorothy Rosby
2110 Lance Street,
Rapid City, SD, 57702,
United States
drosby@vastbb.net

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