A Really, Really Awesome List

Over the years, I’ve had a lot of things shift, but I’m not sure my paradigm is one of them.

Dorothy RosbyAugust 15, 2017cliche, GrammarBook.com, Awesome, amazing, humor, humorist, South Dakota, Rapid City Comments

The Dangers of Cyberloafing

I’ve never heeded that old advice given to writers: “Write what you know.” If I would have, I’d have run out of column material a long time ago. Why stick to what I know? I've got Google.

I’m Not Old Until I Say I’m Old

Older people are wise and mature. I’m neither wise nor mature, so it stands to reason that I can’t be old either.

Dorothy RosbyJuly 18, 2017Dorothy Rosby, humor, humorist, South Dakota, aging, elderly, middle age, midlife crises Comments

Whole Lot of Money but Not Much Sense

Did you hear about that fan who spent more than $190,000 on a pair of old shoes worn by Michael Jordan in the 1984 Summer Olympics? I think it was a cry for help. “Someone help me! I have too much money and I don’t know what to do with it.”

Self-ImprovementDorothy RosbyJuly 5, 2017money, cash, extravagance, rich, humor, Dorothy Rosby Comment

People Watching in Terminal B

From my spot at Boston Logan, I count at least a dozen people dozing, despite the hubbub all around. There are three young people lying flat on the floor, unconscious. I can’t sleep that well on a bed in a dark, quiet room. I’m tempted to wake them up and ask them how they do it.

TravelDorothy RosbyJune 20, 2017travel, airport, Dorothy Rosby, humor Comments

Attack of the phony phoners

I screamed into the phone, “Stop calling me!” It was a recording.

TechnologyDorothy RosbyMay 30, 2017scams, phone, smartphone, callers Comments

Personal Assistant or Peeping Tom

I knew it. I'm being watched.

TechnologyDorothy RosbyMay 16, 2017technology, privacy, Dorothy Rosby Comments

Shut up and eat your dandelions!

When I complained to my friend about the yellow scourge taking over my yard, she told me to be quiet and eat my dandelions. She said dandelions are nutritious, delicious and free. I told her she could have as many as she wanted if she’d just come by and pick them.

Dorothy RosbyMay 10, 2017dandelions, weeds, flowers, danedlion, Dorothy Rosby Comments

I know an old woman who lived in a zoo

You know that old woman who swallowed a spider to catch the fly, and then a bird to catch the spider, and a cat to catch the bird, and a dog to catch the cat, then a goat, a cow and eventually a horse. And she died of course. Who wouldn’t? Frankly, I’m surprised she lasted as long as she did.

PetsDorothy RosbyMay 2, 2017pets, chaos, cat, dog, bird Comments

Brace Yourself!

And at my advanced age, the best thing I can say about wearing braces is, it beats wearing dentures.

Dorothy RosbyApril 11, 2017braces, teeth, smile, middle age Comments

In Like a Lion and Out Like a Practical Joke

Whose idea was it to dedicate an entire day to practical jokes anyway? There are no other holidays designated specifically for bad behavior—except maybe New Year’s Eve

HolidaysDorothy RosbyMarch 28, 2017April Fools, April 1, prank, weather Comments

Cruising to judgment

"Don’t you have cruise control buddy," I holler at the other driver. "Set it and forget it!" I don’t think he hears me. I give him my “mean stare” as I pass him. I’m not worried about retaliation; I have the confidence that comes with tinted windows.

The Butler Did It!

Mr. Butler Saunder says he’s nervous about emailing me because it could cost him his job. I won’t email him back to say so, but I sincerely hope it does.

TechnologyDorothy RosbyFebruary 28, 2017spam, technology, email, Dorothy Rosby, humor Comments

And the Oscar goes to. . .

A handsome fella leaps off a speeding train onto the back of a galloping horse at the very moment the train explodes. But that’s not the amazing part. He’s got one leg in a cast, he’s carrying the wounded train engineer and he’s being pursued by masked gunmen. That’s not the amazing part either. What’s truly incredible is that he won’t even win an Academy Award for Best Stunt, and not just because I made the whole thing up.

Entertainment, HolidaysDorothy RosbyFebruary 14, 2017Oscars, humor, Dorothy Rosby, Rapid CityComment

Americans Versus the Scale

If you covered a football field with all the guacamole that will be consumed on Super Bowl Sunday, it would be an impressive 11.8 feet deep. I don’t know why you would do that though; it would spoil the game and, more importantly, the guacamole.

HolidaysDorothy RosbyJanuary 31, 2017Super Bowl, guacamole, snacks, Super Bowl 51, avocados, avocado Comments

The Tragic Tale of Flat Stanley

The following is a true story. Only the facts have been changed to protect the guilty.

TravelDorothy RosbyJanuary 17, 2017humor, Dorothy Rosby, Flat Stanley Comments

Check your text before you send and other lessons from 2016

I made at least one person mad in 2016. There might be more, but one was mad enough to say so.

HolidaysDorothy RosbyJanuary 3, 2017lessons, texting, mistakes, Dorothy Rosby, humor Comments

When it’s too Late for the Perfect Gift

This late in the gift giving game,you choose what? A gift that will give your loved one a head start on their next garage sale. A gift that has you swearing next year you’ll “know before you go.” A gift that will inspire your loved one to say with sincerity those two little words, “Gift receipt?” No doubt about it; someone is getting a Talking Trout this year, proving once again that it truly is better to give than to receive.

HolidaysDorothy RosbyDecember 20, 2016Christmas, gifts, Dorothy Rosby, Rapid City Comments

Holiday Greetings to you and yours! Where’s my gift?

Dear friends,

I hope 2016 has been good to you. It began in a courtroom for me, which I think you’d agree, is no way to start a new year, especially if you’re the defendant.