E-Etiquette or Lack Thereof
No one ever talks to me anymore. They text me instead of calling me on the telephone. They e-mail me instead of stopping by. I can't decide if they're busy, or lazy or just don't like me anymore. Of course, now that I've called them lazy, they probably don't like me anymore.
At any rate, it feels like everyone is avoiding me. What's more, it feels like I'm avoiding them. And if we're all going to avoid each other, we ought to at least be nice about it. So today, I’d like to discuss electronic etiquette.
I’ll start with texting etiquette, because I have fewer rules for texting than I do for e-mail.
1. Don't text and drive, especially if you're driving on the same road I'm on.
2. Don't text me while we're in the same room—unless it's a very large room and you're saving me a seat up front.
3. Consider calling—if you remember how. I know it’s hard to believe, but there are times when it would actually be faster. Take this actual example of a texted “conversation” I had with my son a few years back.
HIM: pick me up
ME: when and where
HIM: 5
ME: WHERE?
HIM: downtown
ME: where downtown
HIM: the store
ME: which store??
HIM: on the corner
ME: CALL ME!!!!
HIM: why
My own preferred method of avoiding face-to-face or telephone conversation is e-mail. I don't mean to brag here, but that's because I type really fast—way faster than I text. Faster than I think, too, which can be dangerous. So I try to keep the following rules in mind when I e-mail.
1. E-mail communication can't convey facial expressions and voice inflection, no matter how big you smile while you type. That means the most innocent of messages, like "What a dumb idea!" or "What were you thinking?" can come across harshly, even if you meant them in the nicest possible way. Some people add little smiley faces to ease the pain, as in, "What a dumb idea!J" But that doesn't always work—at least it doesn't always work when I get that message. That's why it's important to choose your words carefully, for example, "I'm very sorry, but, in my opinion, that’s a dumb idea!"
2. IF YOU WRITE IN ALL CAPITALS, IT LOOKS LIKE YOU'RE ANGRY. So avoid it—unless you are angry. Then add a bunch of exclamation points, too.
3. Remember, even some very smart people don’t know all the shorthand that's out there. Me, for example. If I had known long ago that IDK means "I don't know," I could have saved myself a lot of typing over the years. And I'm embarrassed to admit it, but it took me a long time to figure out that LOL means “laugh out loud,” partly because what people LOL about isn’t always that funny. Maybe they don’t know what it means, either. Honestly, there was a time I thought it meant "lots of luck." So when friends bought lottery tickets or applied for jobs, I wished them LOL. I'm sure this did wonders to boost their confidence before the job interview.
4. Use a catchy subject line that gets attention and sums up your message. But be careful you don't sound like a spammer. That means you should never say "Grow rich beyond your wildest dreams" or "Get a college degree without studying," though I'm not sure why you would say that.
5. This is just my opinion, but don't put privacy messages on your e-mail. If you ask me, there is no better way to get the whole world to read something than putting the word "CONFIDENTIAL" on it. In fact, I’m was thinking of putting it on the cover of the next book I publish.
6. When all else fails, pick up the phone. I recently spent a morning in an e-mail conversation that went something like this:
"What day works for you?"
"How about Tuesday at 9?"
"No, Tuesday doesn't work."
"How about Thursday?"
"What time Thursday?"
"Eleven?"
"Won’t work. How about 2?"
I should have said, "Give me your phone number." or rather, "GIVE ME YOUR PHONE NUMBER!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Excerpted from I Used to Think I Was Not That Bad and Then I Got to Know Me Better by Dorothy Rosby.