Playing the Waiting Game

Free Audiobook

It was while I was trying to pronounce friggatriskaidekaphobia that I began to question my decision to record my own audiobook. Tis the Season to Feel Inadequate: Holidays, Special Occasions and Other Times Our Celebrations Get Out of Hand focuses heavily on Christmas. But it also covers some other prominent and obscure holidays which explains why I had to learn to pronounce friggatriska…whatever… which refers to the fear of Friday the 13th. One audiobook later I’m proud to say I can still pronounce it though I hope you never ask me to. Anyway, the publisher has given me a batch of free links to the audiobook and I will give them to whomever shows the least bit of interest. If you’d like one, email me at www.dorothyrosby.com/contact. All I ask in return is that you consider writing an honest review after you’ve listened.

Now back to our regularly scheduled post….

I am not staring; staring is rude. I’m observing. I’m sitting in the waiting room at my dentist’s office along with four other people. One is talking on his phone and the other three are contemplating their phone screens. Anyway, they wouldn’t even notice if I was staring—which I’m not.

I’m not judging either. It’s all I can do to keep from pulling out my own smartphone, checking my email, sending a text or two, and telling all my Facebook friends where I am. I’m sure everyone would like to know I’m having my teeth cleaned today.

But I refrain. I believe there are benefits to waiting without an electronic crutch, chief among them is learning to wait, which has never been one of my strong suits.

It’s not my fault. I’ve had bad experiences waiting. Once at a restaurant, my husband and I waited to be seated for what seemed like several hours but was probably only 45 minutes. Good thing we finally checked to see where our name was on the call list, because it wasn’t on the call list.

Worse than that, I once spent what seemed like days, but was probably only 30 minutes, waiting in an examination room. I finally stuck my head into the hallway and ask a nurse if my doctor had been called away on an emergency. She was as shocked to see me as she would have been to see the doctor. He wasn’t scheduled to be in that day.

It’s experiences like those that keep me from taking this patience thing too far. If I were too good at waiting, I might still be sitting there. Nevertheless I think I could stand to improve at the waiting game, though “game” implies it’s a lot more fun than it is.

I’ve developed a routine for those times when I’m forced to wait, whether it’s in a restaurant, at the mechanic’s or in line at a public restroom. Instead of taking out my phone, I force myself to relax and observe my surroundings. Anyone watching me would think I was casing the joint, but nobody is watching me. They’re all looking at their phones.

I check out the décor or lack of it. What’s the layout? Where’s the drinking fountain. Do they have coffee? I don’t drink coffee, but if they have coffee maybe they have tea—or cocoa or a sundae bar.

Where are the exits? Where’s the thermostat? I never touch it but it’s not like the people staring at their phones would notice if I did.

If the waiting room has a television, I look for the remote. I don’t ever change it, or at last I don’t ever admit to changing it. But believe me, I have been sorely tempted. And who would see me if I did? They’re too busy looking at their little screens to notice what happens to the big one.

Finally I observe my fellow waiters—as in those who wait, not those who serve those who wait. What do they look like? What are they wearing? And if they’re talking on their phone, what are they talking about? I have a blog to keep up with ,you know.

After I’ve taken in everything, I ponder, daydream and otherwise relax until I can’t stand it anymore. Then and only then do I take out my phone. In this way, I’m becoming more patient and more observant, theoretically anyway. Bonus, and this is no small thing, I’m also reducing my chances of leaving my phone all over town.

Dorothy Rosby is the author of ’Tis the Season to Feel Inadequate; Holidays, Special Occasions and Other Times Our Celebrations Get Out of Hand and other books. Contact her at www.dorothyrosby.com/contact.