Humorous essays. Humor columnist in the Midwest. Humor column in Rapid City, SD. Humor blog. Comedy blog. Dorothy Rosby Blog. Funny blog. Humor blog.
From my spot at Boston Logan, I count at least a dozen people dozing, despite the hubbub all around. There are three young people lying flat on the floor, unconscious. I can’t sleep that well on a bed in a dark, quiet room. I’m tempted to wake them up and ask them how they do it.
Read MoreI screamed into the phone, “Stop calling me!” It was a recording.
Read MoreWhen I complained to my friend about the yellow scourge taking over my yard, she told me to be quiet and eat my dandelions. She said dandelions are nutritious, delicious and free. I told her she could have as many as she wanted if she’d just come by and pick them.
Read MoreYou know that old woman who swallowed a spider to catch the fly, and then a bird to catch the spider, and a cat to catch the bird, and a dog to catch the cat, then a goat, a cow and eventually a horse. And she died of course. Who wouldn’t? Frankly, I’m surprised she lasted as long as she did.
Read MoreAnd at my advanced age, the best thing I can say about wearing braces is, it beats wearing dentures.
Read MoreWhose idea was it to dedicate an entire day to practical jokes anyway? There are no other holidays designated specifically for bad behavior—except maybe New Year’s Eve
Read More"Don’t you have cruise control buddy," I holler at the other driver. "Set it and forget it!" I don’t think he hears me. I give him my “mean stare” as I pass him. I’m not worried about retaliation; I have the confidence that comes with tinted windows.
Read MoreMr. Butler Saunder says he’s nervous about emailing me because it could cost him his job. I won’t email him back to say so, but I sincerely hope it does.
Read MoreA handsome fella leaps off a speeding train onto the back of a galloping horse at the very moment the train explodes. But that’s not the amazing part. He’s got one leg in a cast, he’s carrying the wounded train engineer and he’s being pursued by masked gunmen. That’s not the amazing part either. What’s truly incredible is that he won’t even win an Academy Award for Best Stunt, and not just because I made the whole thing up.
Read MoreIf you covered a football field with all the guacamole that will be consumed on Super Bowl Sunday, it would be an impressive 11.8 feet deep. I don’t know why you would do that though; it would spoil the game and, more importantly, the guacamole.
Read MoreThe following is a true story. Only the facts have been changed to protect the guilty.
Read MoreI made at least one person mad in 2016. There might be more, but one was mad enough to say so.
Read MoreThis late in the gift giving game,you choose what? A gift that will give your loved one a head start on their next garage sale. A gift that has you swearing next year you’ll “know before you go.” A gift that will inspire your loved one to say with sincerity those two little words, “Gift receipt?” No doubt about it; someone is getting a Talking Trout this year, proving once again that it truly is better to give than to receive.
Read MoreDear friends,
I hope 2016 has been good to you. It began in a courtroom for me, which I think you’d agree, is no way to start a new year, especially if you’re the defendant.
Read MoreToo bad I’m no good at sleeping on an airplane. I hope the pilot isn’t either.
Read MoreI’m part of an elite group. Only about seven percent of Americans know how to drive a stick shift, and I happen to be one of them. If you aren’t and you want to be, you’ll have a tough time finding a vehicle to learn on, since only around five percent of vehicles sold in the United States have manual transmissions. I read it on the internet so it must be true.
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I’m at the movie The Intern, when someone’s cellphone breaks into song up front. It’s a catchy, little instrumental and I’d probably feel like dancing if I weren’t holding a bucket of popcorn the size of Seattle and trying so hard to hear what Anne Hathaway is telling Robert De Niro. When the cellphone’s owner finally answers it, he tells the caller—and everyone else in the theatre—that he’s in the middle of a movie, something those of us in the audience are well aware of.
Read MoreMy college journalism professor said on more than one occasion, "Get the obituary right. It's probably the only time they've been in the newspaper."
It's obvious my professor had never lived in a small town. If he had, he would have known that you don't have to die to get into the newspaperthough the story may be longer if you do.
Read MoreIf you’re like me, and I always feel better if someone else is, the length of time you need to pack for a trip is just slightly less than the length of time you have available to do it in. You start out in the “I have all the time and room I need to pack whatever will make me feel at home while I’m away” phase of your journey. You still don’t want to do it though.
Read MoreDorothy Rosby. Author. Speaker. Humorist. Rapid City South Dakota. Editors information, speaking engagements, purchase books.
